


5 Times Bruce and Thor Almost Got Caught Having Sex (+1 Time They Did)

by Blizzard_Fire



Series: ThorBruce Week 2018 (Belated!) [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (kinda), 5+1 Things, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Bruce Banner, Bruce Banner is a kinky bastard, Bruce Banner-centric, Closet Sex, Couch Sex, Elevator Sex, Hand Jobs, Humor, Lab Sex, M/M, Nick Fury is Not Amused, Outdoor Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Precious Peter Parker, Semi-Public Sex, Thor is a caring lover, Top Thor (Marvel), Underwater Blow Jobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 21:37:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21464938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blizzard_Fire/pseuds/Blizzard_Fire
Summary: And then Bruce was pinned against the wall with a thigh between his legs. He gasped. 'Thor, someone's gonna see if we do this here.'Thor pulled back, eyes wide and innocent. 'So early in the morning? 'Tis but a slim chance.' He smirked as Bruce squirmed against his leg. Bastard. He knew exactly what he was doing. 'But there is always a chance... that someone walks around that corner and sees us like this.' He bent his head to press a series of sucking kisses down his neck. 'Imagine the scandal.'Bruce and Thor attempt sex in as many places in Stark Tower as possible.This can only end badly.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor
Series: ThorBruce Week 2018 (Belated!) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1547521
Comments: 16
Kudos: 357





	1. The Lab

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt "First Time" for ThorBruce Week 2018 (getting creative with last year's prompts!)
> 
> This one's been sitting mostly-drafted for a little while, thought it deserved my full attention ;) *fans self* look at those tags, dang.
> 
> After the fluffy innocent goodness that was my ThorBruce Week 2019 fics, it's time to write some filth. Enjoy!

It started with the lab.

When they weren't busy saving the world (or clearing up the mess created after saving said world), Bruce spent his free time conducting experiments. Today, he was happily engrossed in a fun side project: testing components, running virtual tests, improving the design. Not even Tony's pointed jibes about going out to see some sunlight could sway him today. He was just having too much fun. After years of hiding, after everything... it felt so good to just be a scientist again.

The door opened behind him, and slow footsteps entered the room. Bruce remained bent over the worktable, glasses perched on the end of his nose. He held out a hand. 'Hey Tony, could you pass me the aluminum chloride?' Out of the corner of his eye, he saw hands appear on either side of him, gripping the edge of the table as the person behind him leaned in to kiss the back of his neck. 'I really hope you're not Tony,' he said with a smile.

Warm breath tickled his ear. 'You've been down here for days,' Thor said softly.

Bruce half-turned to regard him over the top of his glasses, and once again was struck by how beautiful he was. Thor was dressed in a plain black t-shirt, the sleeves straining around his biceps. His hair was swept back in an elegant ponytail, and his blue eyes sparked with fondness. 'I'm close to finishing it, I think.' He indicated the tray of tiny glass parts in front of him with the tweezers he still held in his hand.

Thor's broad chest pressed against his back. 'You are a very clever man, Bruce.' He pressed another kiss just behind his ear. 'But sometimes I think you work too hard.'

He _did_ feel a little brain-fried. Bruce sighed and removed his glasses, leaning into the backward embrace. 'Are you missing me?'

He chuckled deeply. 'A little.' The hands that had been resting on the table drifted up to wrap across his chest. He rested his chin on the top of his head. They'd only been dating for a few months. Thor had returned not long after the Chitauri invasion to "build some bridges" and... well, it was safe to say that relationships between Earth and Asgard had never been better. On the smaller scale, at least. 'But then I always miss you when you aren't around.'

'I'm sorry.' Bruce reached behind him to hug him back, but instead found his hands cupping Thor's ass. He gave it a remorseful squeeze anyway. 'Once a project gets going I get a little distracted. I guess I'm just happy to finally have a lab again.'

'I am happy when you are happy.' Thor nuzzled his neck. 'Perhaps I could... help you with your work?' And he pressed his crotch between Bruce's buttocks just hard enough to push Bruce against his desk.

'I can always use a hand.' Bruce swallowed and cursed his choice of words as he looked down at his project. What had he been about to do with the tweezers? 'Just uh, maybe not this one. It's a sensitive experiment.' One of the hands on his chest slid down to cup the front of him. He froze, the hot breath in his ear raising goosebumps on his arms.

A strong thumb traced the line of his fly. 'How sensitive?' he purred. 

'Thor,' he said shakily, 'I'm trying to build a tau glob prism.'

Thor paused. 'I can stop if you want?'

'No, this is - ' He swallowed. 'This is fine. Good, even.' And he set down his tweezers and turned around, capturing Thor's mouth in a tender kiss.

Bruce was the king of self-restraint. He'd learned to squash down any strong emotion - he'd had to, to survive - and that had led to a difficulty in expressing anything at all. But it was just another fact he'd learned to live with.

It wasn't until Thor that he'd started to get back in touch with those... baser instincts.

'JARVIS, lock the lab,' he uttered, snatching up his tray of equipment and putting it safely on another workbench. Then he returned so that Thor could yank his pants down, lift him up with one arm and throw him down on the table. 'Are we really doing this?'

Thor shrugged, a glint in his eye. 'So it would seem.' And he paused to kiss him sweetly, a slippery finger stretching him open. 'Before you ask, Stark always keeps lubricant in the lab. I am... not sure why. Unless he and Pepper - '

'Best not to think about it.' Bruce leaned back and closed his eyes. This wasn't exactly comfortable, but it was different. Then again, he'd never dated anyone like Thor.

They took their time, Thor slow-fucking him until he'd loosened up a little. They were just finding their rhythm when JARVIS spoke, startling them both.

_'Sirs, Mister Stark is currently on his way to the lab. Needless to say, he has full security clearance and I cannot prevent him from entering. Perhaps this activity can be completed elsewhere?'_

They were fucking. In _Tony's lab._ Oh god, what were they doing? Bruce ran a hand through his hair, unable to really move as he was currently still impaled on Thor's thick length. 'Shit. How long do we have?'

_‘I predict he will be here in approximately two and a half minutes.'_

Thor looked down at Bruce with a positively wicked glint in his eye. 'That I can work with.' And he slowly pulled out of Bruce almost all the way before slamming into him hard. Bruce gasped and held onto his broad shoulders. He was helpless beneath him, only able to take what he was given. And when a large hand wrapped around his shaft and pumped him in time with each desk-shaking thrust, he could only moan half-formed encouragements.

Thor merely chuckled in his ear, his breaths growing more ragged. 'Did you think I would leave you unsatisfied? It is Stark's own fault if he catches us.'

The thought of Tony - or anyone - walking in and seeing him splayed out under Thor gave him a nervous thrill, and it pushed him over the edge. He held on tight and rode out the aftershocks, clenching uncontrollably around Thor's dick.

He was still trembling as he pulled up his pants and fumbled to re-fasten his belt. Thor kissed him briefly and quickly tidied the strands of hair that had escaped his ponytail.

The door opened and Tony wandered in, coffee mug in hand. 'Still hard at work, Banner?' he said without looking at him, making his way over to his preferred corner of the lab.

Not anymore, Bruce thought wryly. 'Just finished, actually,' he said, without breaking eye contact with Thor. A smile curled at the edge of the god's mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm 95% done editing this, so I'll be posting a chapter a day for the next 5 days!


	2. The Closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just realised this is my 20th fic on this site :D

It absolutely wasn't a kink, Bruce decided. It was just a one-off thing, an unexpected sexual encounter made more thrilling by the possibility of discovery. Fun, but not worth the risk. And there was a lot of risk, with four hyper-observant superheroes sharing the tower with them.

That said, it was a very big tower. With plenty of hiding places. And although the lab incident had been over a week ago, he couldn't stop thinking about it.

Bruce was usually the first one up in the mornings - force of habit. Now he had a cup of coffee in him, it was time to head to the lab and get to work.

'Good morning, beloved.' Thor's deep voice echoed down the corridor. He was in his Midgardian attire today: a deep red hoodie that looked a little like his cloak.

The nickname made Bruce smile. They hadn't had the "what are we" talk yet, but clearly Thor was comfortable with him. That was reassuring. As he approached, Bruce's eyes drifted appreciatively down his body.

Thor saw him looking and winked. When they reached each other, Thor curled his arms around Bruce's waist and kissed him softly. Bruce sighed, trailing a hand down his broad back.

Thor's kisses were always firm and claiming, but this was different. Thor's mouth worked hungrily against his, and the growl deep in his throat was anything but chaste. Bruce found his own breaths growing shallower, and his eyes snapped open when he started to feel stirrings down below. 'Uh, Thor -'

And then he was pinned against the wall with a thigh between his legs. He gasped. 'Thor, someone's gonna see if we do this here.'

Thor pulled back, eyes wide and innocent. 'So early in the morning? 'Tis but a slim chance.' He smirked as Bruce squirmed against his leg. Bastard. He knew exactly what he was doing. 'But there is always a chance... that someone walks around that corner and sees us like this.' He bent his head to press a series of sucking kisses down his neck. 'Imagine the scandal.'

Bruce pressed his lips together, resisting the urge to beg, to give in to this newfound desire.

It was a good thing he did, as the next thing he heard was voices.

'I'm telling you Pep, it will revolutionise the entire running of the tower.'

'And I am telling _you_ that we have bigger priorities than building flying vending machines.'

Before he could second-guess himself, Bruce yanked open a the nearest door and pulled Thor inside, plunging them into darkness. It turned out to be a janitor's closet; he could smell cleaning fluid. In the tiny space he was practically sitting on Thor's lap. Thor's... hard lap.

The footsteps approached them. 'Okay, so make them "useful" and have them deliver memos and pencil sharpeners. I only used bagels as an example.'

'We are _not_ having drones flying around the tower, Tony! Can you imagine how dangerous that is?'

'I'm gonna take that response as a "maybe" for now.'

An invisible hand teased at his fly. Bruce shivered, glad that Thor couldn't see his expression. But he could hear his shaky breathing.

'I even made schematics, look! JARVIS will tell you, the simulations check out. As long as they're above head height, they won't interfere with anything - '

'Doorways? Staircases? Last time I checked you were the head of the company. Why don't you just _ask_ someone to get you a bagel?'

Thor's teasing became more insistent until Bruce was almost squirming in his lap. The question was there, unspoken. Bruce gripped the knees either side of him, and whispered it so quietly he couldn't hear his own voice. 'Please.'

Thor unzipped his fly.

'You hear that?' Tony's feet stilled.

'No. I don't. Stop changing the subject. There's a few things I need to go over with you...'

'I'm all ears, Pep.'

A warm hand wrapped around his shaft. The repetitive slide of flesh seemed dangerously loud in the small space.

'Really? Okay, great. Well, there's a board meeting at two, and it would make a difference if you could be there in person -'

'Ah, I can't. Got a thing.'

'Oh really? Funny, because I've cleared your schedule for the whole of today.'

'Remind me why I hired you again?'

'And here is the plan for the rest of the week...'

It was shameful. And Bruce had thought that the Hulk was the most surprising thing about himself. But here he was, crammed into a tiny closet, getting a handjob from a Norse god whilst the richest man in America discussed board meetings two feet away. It was dangerous, it was a ridiculously stupid thing to do... but fuck it was hot.

Thor increased the pace as Bruce struggled to keep his breathing quiet. He wasn't going to last long, and they were still right outside the door...

Right as Bruce stiffened, a hand clamped over his mouth. Bruce shuddered and came silently, spurting down his wrist. Thor's breaths were hot against his neck.  
  
'That sounds incredibly boring. But I love your handwriting, you clearly put work into that - hey!'

Scuffling feet, as if Pepper was dragging Tony by the elbow. She laughed. 'It's almost two. I'm escorting you all the way there.'

'What's my reward?'

'My unending admiration. Mush.'

'I'm still making the drones.'

As their voices receded, Bruce finally let out a breath. 'That was close.' The realisation of what they'd just done slowly dawned on him. 'Shit, did we just do it in a closet?' Well, one of them had. 'Uh, do you need a minute?' He reached under him to grope for Thor's erection, but it was no longer digging into his thigh. Instead, there was a large damp patch.

'I got a little overexcited,' Thor muttered into his shoulder.

Bruce laughed and stroked his hair. 'We'd better get out of here and clean up before anyone sees.'

There was a rustle, and a cloth was pressed into his hand. 'We're in the right place for that.'

Bruce smiled into the dark as they tried to make themselves presentable. Difficult, when you didn't know what you looked like. Even more so when you were sitting on each other.

Then they slipped out and headed back to their rooms. As Bruce changed into a pair of pants that weren't come-stained, he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Flushed skin, ruffled hair, and eyes that looked brighter and more alive than they had in years.

Shit. This was going to become a thing, wasn't it?


	3. The Pool

Thor was very quick at picking up on things. He had to be, with so many Midgardian customs to learn. And whilst he didn't understand Bruce's fixation (Asgardians welcomed an audience during sex), he was perfectly happy to indulge him.

'Are you sure?' Bruce asked for a third time.

Thor swam over to him, long hair tied back in a wet bun. The swimming pool wasn't the first place Bruce would have picked, but Thor had looked so excited at the idea that he couldn't say no. 'I want to see how long I can hold my breath,' he said with a grin. 'Everyone leaves the tower on Saturdays, you have nothing to fear.' He kissed him briefly, a fondness in his eyes, then he took a long breath and ducked beneath the surface. Bruce took a breath to steady himself.

'Having fun, Doctor?'

Bruce nearly jumped out of his skin. Director Fury stood at the water's edge as though he'd been there the whole time, fixing him with a steely glare. 'Uh, hi Director.'

Underwater, Thor pushed Bruce's thighs apart, settling him against the wall of the pool. A finger hooked into the waistband of his trunks and pulled them down. Water swirled around his exposed dick. 

'I've been meaning to talk with you.' He took a step closer. 'You didn't see the email this morning?'

Bruce hazily wracked his brains. 'No. This morning? I'm sure I would've remem - '

In one fluid movement, Thor's hot mouth swallowed him down to the hilt. Bruce twitched.

'Yes, this morning. About the meeting _you_ and the other Avengers should have been at. And what do I find instead? An empty room!' He tapped his foot, the sound echoing across the pool. 'Care to give me an explanation?'

'I - I don't - ' Thor's strong hands massaged his balls in rhythm with the bobs of his head. A silent moan vibrated up the length of him. Bruce's fingers tangled in his hair. He had no way of telling him they had company. 'I don't remember any email.' He swallowed hard.

Fury's one eye narrowed in suspicion. 'I think you're hiding something, Doctor Banner.'

Bruce stared back at him, panic rising.

'Do you know _why_ I walked into an empty meeting room this morning?'

One of Thor's hands drifted further between his legs to tease his hole. 'Why?' he croaked.

'Because there _was_ no meeting!' He grinned, holding up an orange gym bag. 'What, you think I'd organise a meeting on a _Saturday?_ Got you good, though. I'm just here to swim some lengths.'

The beginnings of an orgasm tickled the base of his spine. Bruce tightened his grip in Thor's hair. 'Good. Um, good.'

Fury seemed to be waiting for a reaction, but when he didn't get one he shrugged and strolled off towards the changing rooms.

As soon as the door banged shut Bruce threw his head back and shot his load into Thor's talented mouth. He thrashed in the water, sending ripples across the pool, his gasps echoing off the high ceiling.

When Thor emerged he was hardly even winded, smirking through a curtain of wet blond hair. 'Good?'

'Good,' he confirmed, pushing back his hair to kiss his forehead. Thor sighed happily, dragging his crotch lazily over Bruce's bare leg. 'But Fury's gonna be here in a minute so we'd better move.'

Thor's eyes widened. 'He's here?' They scrambled out of the pool, a very obvious erection tenting Thor's tight trunks. 'What should we do? I'm in no state to run back to our quarters.' He was taking deep breaths, palming himself through the wet, shiny fabric.

Bruce curled a hand around his bicep. 'We wait until he gets out of the changing room,' he decided, then leaned in to press a kiss against his neck. 'Then I'm gonna help you out of those trunks and return the favour.'

Thor shivered appreciatively. 'Good plan.'


	4. The Elevator

There had been a lot of firsts with Thor. Bruce hadn't dated anyone since the other guy showed up, so there had been a lot of emotional hurdles. But Thor was patient, considerate and most importantly, couldn't be harmed by the Hulk.

The first time they'd had sex, there had been a lot of "is this okay" and "do you need to stop for a moment"s as Bruce found his footing. Once he'd got comfortable, then it was first time fucking in the shower, first time telling someone they were dating...

Maybe it was an extension of that. Now there were plenty of firsts to explore. It just depended on how brave you were.

Post-battle movie night concluded at almost 3am.

Thor and Bruce were first to leave, the latter leaning heavily against him as they made their way to the elevator. Hulk-outs always left him feeling tense and tired.

Some of that tiredness dissipated when Thor kissed him firmly the moment the elevator doors slid closed. 'You seem stressed, gentle one,' he said in Bruce's ear.

Bruce just sighed and pressed their bodies together, grateful to have that physical anchor. The residue of Hulk's anger seemed to cling to his tight muscles and clenched jaw. He wanted to be dangerous.

Thor made a surprised noise as Bruce wordlessly unzipped himself, then immediately leaned back to watch. 'Feeling brave tonight?' he asked with a smile.

'I just... need this.' He sighed as he pulled out his cock and gave it an experimental tug. There was that thrill again, the risk of discovery that only increased his sense of urgency.

Thor glanced at the lift screen. 'Thirty floors to go,' he mused. 'Do you think you can do it?'

Bruce's body thrummed with nervous energy. With Thor's hungry gaze on him, he could.

But it was only polite for Thor to shove him against the wall of the elevator, spit into his palm and pump him with expert urgency. 'You looked like you needed a hand.'

The thought that the elevator could stop on any floor, at any moment... the Avengers might all be downstairs but there was always that slim chance that this was the time they'd be caught...

Bruce came as they passed the twenty-first floor, jerking like a plucked bowstring before crumpling against Thor with a grateful sigh. 'Thanks,' he mumbled into his neck.

'Let's get you to bed.' Thor buried a kiss in his hair as he gently tucked Bruce back in and zipped up his pants.

The elevator pinged and the doors opened on the next floor.

'Hi Thor! Hi Doctor Banner!' Peter offered a cheery wave then stepped in beside them. 'Hoo, kinda fusty in here. How come you guys are up so late?' He was dressed in an oversized hoodie and dark jeans, rucksack slung over one shoulder.

'Peter, what are you doing here?' said Bruce, too quickly, but the kid didn't seem to notice.

'Uh, I couldn't concentrate at home so I've been doing my homework on the roof.' He pulled his hood down, revealing a dripping fringe. 'Then half my math homework blew away and I had to swing halfway across the city and I still didn't get it all...' He sighed. 'So I came down for a snack and now I'm going to bed.'

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Thor angle his body away from them and wipe his hand on his pants.

'Are you okay, Doctor Banner? You look a little... ill.'

Bruce knew without looking that his face was flushed and sweaty. 'The other guy threw a party earlier,' he said wryly, his gut curling in horror. If Peter had gotten on two floors earlier...

'Must be rough.' He nodded sympathetically.

When the elevator doors opened and Peter stepped out, Bruce resisted the urge to sigh with relief. He turned to Thor, a laugh threatening to burst from his lips.

'Oh, I almost forgot!' Peter grabbed the door before it could close. 'I was wondering if you could help me with a school project? It's about radiation so...'

'Yeah, sure.' The strength in Bruce's legs was fast fading. 'Come see me tomorrow, I'm usually around the lab if you can't find me.'

'Otherwise he is usually in my quarters,' said Thor, a little too smugly.

Bruce shot him a warning glare.

But Peter was already backing out with a smile. 'Oh, I know. You guys seem happy together by the way. See ya!' Then the doors closed and they really were alone again.

'That was close.' Bruce sagged against him. He needed to sleep. A lot.

Thor rested his chin on his head. 'Perhaps we should keep things low-risk until you're feeling better.'

'Yeah.' Even the thought of sex made him feel tired. Tomorrow he only wanted a day in bed. With cuddles. And maybe some soup.

'But after you're feeling better...' There was a smile in his voice. 'Your turn to choose the spot.'

Bruce chuckled. 'I know a good place...'


	5. The Greenhouse

To call it a greenhouse was an understatement, really.

It was more like a huge glass warehouse, crammed with carnivorous pitcher plants, strange fleshy flowers and vegetable patches glittering with scientific instruments. Bruce and Tony had set up the odd experiment here, but most of the time it was deserted.

'You know all the best places,' Thor said happily, admiring the greenery around them. 'It's like being back on Asgard.'

Bruce used to come here a lot. Being outdoors seemed to calm the other guy, and tending to the plants gave him something quiet and productive to do. But all he said was, 'When you like being alone, you learn how to find the quiet places.' His train of thought swiftly derailed as he looked down and saw that Thor had unzipped himself and was already half-hard. 'Am I rubbing off on you?'

Thor smirked and ran a hand down his shaft. 'Not yet, but please do.'

Bruce stepped out of his pants, then after a moment's hesitation unbuttoned his shirt too. He hid his clothes inside a seed container (the irony) and relished the feeling of earth under his feet. The grow lights warmed his bare skin.

Thor groaned as Bruce captured his mouth in a kiss and ground their hips together. 'You're different when we do this,' he said when they came up for air.

'Mmm?' Bruce was a little preoccupied, feeling the taut muscles of Thor's buttocks as they rocked slowly together.

'You are surprisingly mischievous. There is a lot that others don't know about you.' He drew back slightly to smile down at him. 'You make me feel overdressed.'

Bruce cocked his head to one side. 'Join me?'

They chose a place far from the door, where they had the coverage of some tall tomato plants. Bruce got on his hands and knees on the damp soil and let Thor do the rest.

Soon enough he was panting and writhing against Thor's clever fingers, and then something much bigger and more satisfying was filling him.

'Back on Asgard, this sort of thing isn't so rare,' Thor grunted, his large hands gripping his hips to steady him. 'It isn't unusual to walk into the dining hall after meals to find someone bent over the table. Quite often, you are invited to watch or join in.'

'Sounds fun.' Bruce wasn't really listening. He was too busy concentrating on keeping still. Already his knees were hurting a little, but it was the awkwardness of it that made it more exciting.

'On Midgard, sex is almost frowned upon.' Thor paused to press a kiss between Bruce's shoulder blades, then began a faster pace. 'You come up with creative ways to enjoy it, but those are especially taboo.'

'Umph,' Bruce replied as he hit that sensitive spot deep inside that made his legs tremble. 'Thor...'

'So I'm curious to know what about it you find so appealing.' Thor's hand fumbled between Bruce's legs to jerk him off roughly. Bruce whined. He wanted this to hurt a little. 'Is it the excitement? Knowing that every moment we risk discovery?

Bruce's eyes flicked up to the door, feeling the pressure in him growing.

'Or perhaps you want to be caught.' Thor's voice deepened, taking on a husky tone. 'You want them to see you like this, desperate for it. You want them to see us fucking like dogs - '

'Fuck.' Bruce shuddered and came, twitching helplessly with each powerful thrust of Thor's hips. Thor took a little longer, sighing each time Bruce's ass clenched around his dick.

And then they were a sweating, tangled heap on the ground, giggling as they held each other. 'Was that alright?' Thor asked.

Bruce just nodded, his forehead brushing against warm leaves. 'I'll never look at a tomato plant the same way again.'

He chuckled, hugging him tightly. 'I wanted to tell you - '

Footsteps and raised voices. Approaching fast.

'Oh _shit - '_ They scrambled away from the door, towards the very back of the greenhouse. Bruce hid behind the equipment storage. Thor disappeared into some stalks of corn.

Moments later, the door opened. 'No way, man. One guy in the sky is worth _way_ more than a decent dude on the ground.' Clint. 'Everyone overlooks the snipers. Without me, you'd all be screwed.'

Steve laughed gallantly. 'Alright, I'll let you have that one. Uh, why are we here?'

'Because it's my turn to cook and I'm not walking to the store again today.' Clint's footsteps drew nearer. Bruce wedged his still-weeping dick between his legs and made himself as small as possible. What the hell was his excuse going to be if he was caught? Maybe he could claim naked yoga was a thing...

'What do we need? Can I help?'

'Nah. Just need some of this...' Snap. 'Coupla of these...' Snap. 'And a handful of... yeah, grab some of those would ya?'

Steve walked into Bruce's eyeline, but mercifully his back was still turned. He crouched down. 'Clint,' he said slowly, 'what floor is this?'

'Uh, sixty-six. Why?'

'We're in a greenhouse over sixty floors up.' He looked up. 'How the hell did a slug get in here?'

Bruce swore he heard a snigger from the corn stalks.

Clint padded over. 'Wow. Um, yeah. Hell of a slug.' Bruce could almost feel his gaze, sweeping through the greenhouse like a search light. 'Beats me, Cap.'

_'Mister Barton, Mister Stark is requesting your presence in the kitchen.'_

'Yeah yeah, tell him to hang onto his goatee, we're coming. Grab some tomatoes Steve, I still need them. Just not... not that one. Take some from the other side.'

Bruce held his breath until the two of them were gone. Then he let out a sigh. 'Thanks, JARVIS.'

'_I am not sure what you are thanking me for Doctor Banner, but you are welcome. I was merely relaying a message from Mister Stark.'_

Thor was laughing as he emerged from his hiding place, leaves sticking to his sweaty, naked body. 'That would have been interesting.'

'Speak for yourself.' Bruce hurried to retrieve his clothes. He smelled of sex, sweat and soil. He reached up to plant a kiss on Thor's cheek. 'Shower?'

Thor smiled. 'Shower,' he agreed. 


	6. The Couch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took a while, real life intervened and then I hit a breakthrough on the novel. I get there eventually!

After the greenhouse incident, they didn't have much free time together. A group of wannabe-superheroes-turned-bad showed up and caused chaos across the globe. The Avengers were spread out over four continents desperately trying to keep the peace.

Of course the Hulk was required. Bruce was paired with Steve, and sent out to take down an enemy base in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. Speaking of which...

He didn't see Thor for nearly two weeks. Too risky to communicate with the others, so there was no way of knowing if he was even alive. Every day he and Steve ate something dried, went over the plan and then Bruce woke up that evening in a pair of ruined pants. It was like being on the run again, except he couldn't remember anything. When he had time to miss Thor, he missed him deeply.

Once the bad guys were behind bars, they returned home. Bruce hadn't realised how much he loved Stark Tower until he'd been away from it. Even Steve was tired for once, and clapped Bruce on the shoulder before trudging off to his rooms.

But Bruce was hyped up. An hour as the Hulk was as good as eight hours of sleep to him, and he'd spent more time being green than as himself. It was like drinking ten cups of coffee a day, and now he had to endure the withdrawal symptoms. Bruce paced up and down the communal living room, unable to focus on anything. He wasn't angry, but he wasn't happy either. Always took a few days for his level-headed self to swing back into place. But this was the worst episode he'd endured. He needed something to ground him, something to make him feel like himself again -

'Bruce?'

Bruce turned, and there he was. Thor strode across the room still in full armour, a huge smile on his face.

Relief washed through him. 'When did you get back?'

'About ten minutes ago.' His golden hair was still dusty, and there was a prominent cut on his jaw. 'They fought well, but not as well as I.' He stroked Bruce's cheek. 'I missed you dearly.'

Bruce kissed him, and the world felt a little steadier. He clasped Thor tightly to him, breathing in the scent of metal and sweat. Not that Bruce smelled great either. His hair was wild and unkempt, his trademark stubble now the beginnings of a beard. 'Missed you too.'

Thor chuckled. 'Let's sit a moment.'

'I'm not tired,' said Bruce, but sat down on the white leather couch. He hungrily drank in Thor's features and realised how much it had ached to be away from him. And thanks to his Hulk-addled brain it was difficult to control himself.

One moment they were gazing at each other, the next Bruce was straddling Thor's lap and kissing him deeply.

Thor laughed between kisses. 'You missed me _this_ much? I'm honoured.' Of course, he knew how Bruce got after a Hulk-out. And was usually happy to provide some stress relief. Today, Bruce needed it even more than usual.

'Sorry,' he muttered, the beginnings of an erection already pressing into Thor's thigh. 'I spent two weeks as the other guy. I'm kinda highly-strung right now.'

Thor smiled sympathetically. 'Oh, Bruce.' A firm hand trailed down his chest before tenderly unzipping his fly. 'You need only ask, my love.' A cool hand reached in and squeezed him gently.

Bruce shivered and grabbed his armoured shoulders. It was normal to feel sensitive after going green, but today... 'That feels amazing,' he whispered. 'Wait - is anyone else here?'

'No, the tower is empty. Fear not.'

And Steve would be gone for hours. Bruce relaxed. 'The last couple weeks - ah - I dreamt about you. Every single night.' His cheeks flushed. They'd done things far more daring than this, but today he felt vulnerable. All his emotions out on show. 'I was worried about you.'

Thor's eyes were so blue. The blue of a summer sky. He smiled. 'And I you.' But there was something else behind his expression, almost hesitation. Then it was gone. 'We have much to catch up on.' He sighed as Bruce palmed the front of his pants. 'But talking can wait.' And he flipped him over and threw him down on the couch, desire burning in his eyes.

As they rutted shamelessly together on Tony's best couch, Bruce suddenly wondered if they were doing this for the right reasons. They'd often fuck after a mission, or when one of them was stressed or needed distraction, or because Bruce wanted to try something different. Was that what couples did? At the start, Bruce had loved the excitement. But now he considered if their relationship had grown beyond all that. He didn't want this to just be... gimmick sex all the time. He liked Thor. But he hadn't been brave enough to really tell him.

'You taste so good,' Thor breathed, biting Bruce's jaw and reaching down to fist both their cocks in one hand. Bruce bucked frantically, twitching at the overwhelming sensations. 'I... don't think I can do this for long.'

'Me neither,' he chuckled, leaning back to stare up at Thor's sweaty face as he came apart above him.

Thor's breaths grew shallow and he shuddered hard as come spurted between them. 'I love you,' he groaned.

Bruce clutched him tightly as he rode out the wave of his own orgasm, wincing at the leg-shaking intensity of it. Then he lay back, staring up at Thor's face. 'What did you say?'

Thor wouldn't meet his eyes, looking sheepish. 'Um - '

A glass broke.

Bruce looked up to see what looked like the entirety of SHIELD crowded in the doorway, all staring at them in shock. Pepper's hands were clapped over her eyes, a wine stain trickling down her shirt. Beside her, Steve reddened and cleared his throat. Nat was inscrutable as always, though he didn't miss the brief downward glance.

The worst thing was, it didn't immediately occur to Bruce that anything was wrong. Which meant he was very amped up, or that they'd done this far too often.

'Uh, this isn't... what it looks like?' He coughed and tried to sit up, but he was currently pinned under Thor's full weight.

Clint's lips were pressed together as if he was trying furiously not to laugh. And Fury - he'd never seen the Director lost for words before.

Tony, still in a battered Iron Man suit with the visor up, waved. 'Hey fellas,' he said cheerfully. 'Room for uh, like eight more?'

Thor hesitated a little too long before saying, 'That is a joke, isn't it?'

Bruce let his head thump down on the couch. 

_'Doctor Banner, Mister Stark has requested your presence in the lab.'_

Bruce grunted and rolled over, pressing his cheek into the cooler side of the pillow. After spending a joyful with Fury tearing him a new one, he'd retreated to his room in disgrace. Even Thor's requests to see him had been gently turned down. Only after a fourteen-hour post-Hulk-crash sleep had he begun to feel like himself again.

He dressed quickly, eager to get it over with so he could slink back to his room. Maybe he should start packing.

Bruce was relieved to meet no one else on his walk down to the elevator. What had he been thinking? He'd used to be so careful. Since when had thinking with his dick been part of the equation? He'd just been so desperate to be with Thor again, craving not just the physical contact but the closeness they both shared.

And Thor had said those three magic words and Bruce had hidden away.

Tony was staring at a screen when Bruce entered. He didn't look up. 'How you feelin, Brucie?'

Bruce considered the anxious cocktail of green tea and crackers churning in his stomach, and the headache that pulsed when he blinked. 'I've been better.'

'Come look at this.' He flicked a hand across the screen and a holograph hovered above the table (oh god they'd fucked on this table). 'Little side project I'm working on. What do you think?'

It looked like a high-tech drone, with small but powerful jets to aid flight and strong "hands" to grab and carry. He had to fight a smile. 'Uh, what does it do? The propulsion system doesn't seem to favour long journeys...'

'It delivers things. Whatever you want, as long as it's lighter than me. I'm giving them a basic AI so they can team up to do tasks.'

'Has uh, Pepper agreed to this?'

'Oh, Pepper loves it. She thinks it's great. She expressly told me not to go to any meetings so I could give this my full attention.' He smirked. 'Seriously though, they could be used for anything. Hauling out survivors from building rubble, whatever.'

Rubble reminded him of Hulk, which reminded him of being an inconvenience, which reminded him of...

Bruce swallowed. 'Am I fired?'

Tony blinked up at him, blue light reflected in his eyes. 'For giving your boyfriend a good time?'

Bruce felt himself blush and looked away.

'I gotta admire you guys. Right in the middle of the living room? Never figured you as the kinky type. Always the quiet ones, isn't it?' Tony spun the hologram with a finger. 'Technically, Fury _could_ fire you off the Avengers. But you're also hired as my head of research. Which he has no control over.'

'Seemed pretty certain he was going to do something,' Bruce muttered, wringing his hands.

'Fury's caught me doing way worse. It's only because everyone else saw that he's gotta save face. Anyway, if he fires you guys, he risks pissing off a rage monster and the god of thunder. I think SHIELD would prefer to keep you guys where they can see you.'

The silence stretched between them, calm and comfortable. Bruce began to relax a little. 'Tony... I'm sorry. I don't want you dragged into all this. Fury's right to be pissed.' He sighed. 'I've been Hulk for weeks on end, that's not something I usually do. I wasn't thinking.'

Tony looked up and smiled. 'I know. We all do. And we know how much of a goddam strain it's gotta be. I talked Fury down this morning. You _weren't _thinking. Because you _weren't_ in your right mind, thanks to the mission _they _gave you. There may be a lot of paperwork on workplace etiquette, for you and Thor, but you're here to stay.'

Relief washed through him. 'Thanks, Tony.'

'Just, maybe get a room next time? Seeing Thor's ass once in a lifetime is enough.'

He smiled. 'I promise.'

'Good. Now go find him before he starts chewing on the furniture. Oh! One more thing.' He walked over and pulled out a small sample jar. 'Fill that.'

Bruce stared at it dumbly. 'With what?'

'With whatever made my tomatoes grow to the size of soccer balls.' Tony raised an eyebrow, challenging him. 'Oh don't be shy, it's going to be really useful.'

Bruce sighed and put it in his pocket.

'Although your other half is also a fertility god, so realy it's fifty/fifty. Here, have another one. And label them, if you want to really spoil me.'

Bruce considered refusing, but Tony had just saved his job and he didn't exactly have secrets to keep anymore. 'Okay. For science.'

Tony wiggled his eyebrows. 'Solving world hunger with your spooge. Now go find him. He misses you.'

Bruce slunk out of the lab and called the elevator, feeling some of his headache recede. He wasn't fired. He could stay in Stark Tower. He sighed in relief.

The elevator doors opened and he was nearly bowled over by a tall blond thunder god. 'Oh! I'm sorry Bruce I was distracted. Are you alright?' Hands held his shoulders, steadying him.

Bruce nodded and smiled. 'I was just conning to find you.'

Thor's face fell. 'Why? What's happened?' He pulled Bruce into the elevator with him (oh god they'd fucked in this elevator).

'Nothing. Everything's fine.' Bruce pressed the button for his floor. 'I just... need to tell you something.'

Thor looked somewhat reassured. 'Alright, but first may I apologise? I shouldn't have initiated things yesterday. Even with the tower supposedly deserted, it was still a risky thing to do. And...' He looked away, scratching his head. 'What I said before...'

Bruce's stomach dropped. 'Heat of the moment?'

He looked up, surprised. 'Well no, I meant it. But it was ill-timed, and I don't want you to feel pressured into anything - '

'Thor.' Bruce calmed him by cupping his face in his hands. 'I was going to say "I love you too".'

'Oh.' He relaxed, then smiled. 'Oh good. I intended to tell you more tactfully but it sort of just... came out.'

Bruce pressed a kiss to his lips. 'Keep me company? We could go up to my room, get under the covers and...' The thought of sex right now made his head hurt. He sighed, leaning their foreheads together. 'Watch a movie or something.'

'That sounds wonderful,' Thor said sincerely.

The doors slid open. Thor curled an arm around his waist and helped him walk down the corridor. 'For a change,' said Bruce, 'let's try having sex in a bed next time.'

Thor merely grinned as they headed into Bruce's room.

They didn't see Clint standing in the doorway to his own room. He waited until they'd gone, then said, 'That reminds me. JARVIS, we got any tomato soup in?'

_'Plenty, Agent Barton.'_

'Cool. Can I get some sent up?'

_'Of course. Mister Stark is currently preparing some with experimental varieties from the greenhouse.'_

He pulled a face. 'You know what? I'm gonna stick to toast.'


End file.
